L.O.V.E

(oh gosh does that mean i'm into ashlee simspon..)

1. when loved ones disappear/ go mia on me, my human proclivity plays a really short video play of them hurled across the aspalt for a few feet then landing in a pool of blood. then the cold sweat begins.

2. when sitting next to..vertically challenged people on the bus i always feel obliged to accompany them throughout the entire ride in case they feel that i move away because of..sensitive issues. but the real reason is that there's a baby cockroach making its way up.

3. was it worth it when it was over?

4. my bleak future is staring at me in my face in every waking moment. due to rapid depletion of competency in..every aspect that i had.

5. first time in two weeks due tmrw.

p.s is my image still unviewable?

picking up the pieces in your trail on the milkyway

okay just finished l word season 2..
it was completelycompletely moving.
i didnt even know tears were streaming down till my vision was blurred..
oh gosh.
blown away now..
hahas.
shall retreat back into creamy dreaminess.

remember the days we smiled.

one thing i cannot comprehend is why is my blogger in chinese?!?! been staring at it in perplexion every time i try blogging.

anyways
the episode of distressed housewives
(sitting in a row at bus stop all sipping mango puree (!!) and psychotic exercising to emulate potong healthy lifestyle, which yz reminded me!)
calls for some ammendments
closing of the first chapter
and the funeral march had to be called for with much regret
though i would be the sole attendance gussied in black.
no more in retrospects.

I don't believe In the smile that you leave When you walk away And say goodbye Well I don't expect The world to move underneath me But for God's sake Could you try I know that you're true to me You're always there You say you care I don't understand Your love is so cold It's always me that's reaching out For your hand And I've always dreamed That love would be effortless Like a petal fallin' to the ground A dreamer followin' his dream Where is your heart Cause I don't really feel you It seems so much is left unsaid So much is left unsaid But you can say anything Oh, anytime you need Baby, it's just you and me


applause for almost completion of lword season2 !
am slow, i know. but what does it matter,
shane is still cute.
HAHA.

so Steph cheers me up with her perpetual disgusting nature
obsessive littering and stealing my papillion
AND tadahhh anna sui (:
a very belated birthday to me
(maybe birthday presents should be distributed within different spans of time to achieve better effect HA HA kidding gimme my presents!)
i Y, thankewwws.
evening runs in secret route soon pls!
(:

that was my weekend smile.

(privy to weekend tears has decidedly been forbidden)


surprising bumping into C
saw us exchanging shocking gossipzxs
not like they actually matter
but DYOUKNOW
scientifically proven to be beneficial to health, they are inevitable in our lives and people who claim they do not gossip are d e l u d e d liars. it is an innate characteristic of all humans.
so there.
anyways, forgive my digression.
C we need to revive study in togetherness days!


random discovery : oldies make you want to listen to their lyrics more intently. try Bread's Diary. (no mocking pls)

i hope my new layout doesnt look weird!
was getting very sick of rachel bilson looking pensive in the previous one.
this picture's out of a photo shoot i stumbled upon and matches my blog title so..haha.


bffs in the world, what does it take?
(note, bff does not = bf)

timely (and untimely lack of) love.

results been an absolutely poor bunch..
swinging to all-time low during my vague existence in sajc,
a major letdown.
every single subject contained a frustrating section that would bring the overall down :c
SIGH.

this calls for shift of focuses, i say.
for more - and less - since it had always been one sided anyways. (fights temptation to roll eyes)

crafted weekly study seshs better work out!! (FREDA KWOK LYE ER, ahem.)


anyways this week's been same old, same old.
laughter fills the air?
so do disappointment.
this package is a real trick-or-treat, i say (again)

reading up about boys by certified therapists don't work, jiang tzu.
SHAKES HEAD.


thumbs midway up (or down, depending how optimistic, or pessimistic you are) for the college's Life concert. loved the slowww ones. (told you ive been newly injected with some school patriotism.) BUT post effects riding up out of it could be gravity defying (: new discoveries everyday. a mini me ran out up stage to confess i do, love You.

danceworks def thumbs up, extremely impressed but i guess the participants were rather depressed. guess the judges (and the audience, such as i) bought all the cuteness oozing out of all the little boysss!! oohs. HAHA. BUT! alas, all were fab (: jln kayu supper was littered with shocking coincidentality (?) and churning stomach. good and not good. ohkay both not good. but company of 8 was noisy and good.


<3 all the sushi and tofu consumed thus far this week! (current major cravings of all time haha)
& my commendable week where shopping only took place within the restricted grounds of Popular. stationery shopping, it was. its all about New Beginnings.

before this turns too random, i shall be off in bed to brave another school day.



the futility screams
leave it be.

how the tables turn.

so my week of frowns was turned upside down by the some of most trivial matters into a little gravity defying curve..

- newly launched project!
- chocolate mocha ice blended frm CAFE BB (hahah. nette, very inferior to perks pls.)
- schfriends and their random talks about bowel issues and giving away one's..flowers (allusion to F.R.I.E.N.D.S)
- friends, the remaining ones. they do come and go, i've learnt.
- momentarily being stranded but! getting to know a little more about a fewww people i shouldve better.
- soccer match (ohmyyy shocking undying love, loyalty and remarkable patriotism toward school. newfound interest in sch activities contributes to shocking factor.)
- 3hr bondage with the sole next of kin i have (yet whose lack of communication i share with recently remains profoundly perplexing)
- night talks (keep quiet and count your squares! :) that i am going to miss tonight ._. and morning walks (oh~ checking own nails out again? gasp! -covers mouth HAHA.)
..
etc.

despite AWFUL grades for blocks (as predicted but YIKES.)
and WHY cant they ever get the fringecuts (and everything else) right?!?!??!
the burning question of a 17 year old. (though interactions with frds might prove otherwise..)

decided to dot my fullstops at it
& eradicate expectations of people.
++ of the non existing second chances and if-onlys, no room for regrets.


\ make them stay.

colliding thoughts and
all your harshness

i need food down my gullet
and air down my windpipe
words out my mouth
sensibility from my head
warmth in my heart
strength in my calves
to sprint
to love
to think
to speak
to breathe
to survive
and understand
WHY.

the lacklustre of simple human capacity and perverseness.

syl, its our cue to laugh.

solitude solitaire

it's like you will never belong.

and if we keep swimming
maybe this will never die

we fail to keep in touch these days
i'm liquid cold, she's motor grey
hollowed by circumstance
that pushed us both away

-

if it makes us feel better
and alone,

sometimes we sit around
just the two of us on the park bench

prev post was a tad dramatic, i know. but i honestly felt so awful though yes, Sab wldnt think it ws a big deal..BUT STILL.

talking abt dramatism (?), i saw REE ystd! its been a long time since ive been overwhlemed with such brimming joy jst by seeing someone smile at me like that. the stinky location for such untimely reunion (the loo at cine) was only a pgymy (yes, Jiangtzu, i found out wht it means..it actually has a meaning!) misfortune that did not dampen our exuberance! good to see her after like, 3 months. :D :D

so yesterday we had the most successful shopping trip together (usually his comments make me want to run out of the shops HAHA)

and you made me think abt all the friends i made and how all the passivity (?) just curtailed the entire relationship as though it meant nothing..it's as though we all made an unvoiced pact to just fade away, that holding on was one of those things that was indirigible, that we couldnt steer it otherwise and take control of things for once. but everyone of those good friends i made meant a lot, and many times i wish we were all better at expressing ourseleves..or that we could just turn all the thoughts into action..but ohwell. what's done is done..

anyway in the midst of all that ennui (okay actually i secretly like being bored sometimes, just to have the luxury to sit around and stone and think about things out of the line) i was reading Other Stories And Other Stories by Ali Smith and it was really good! been a long time since i read something so profoundly striking. there are like, a series of short stories in it and though some of them are really rather abstract that i cannot quite fathom, i had many favourites and this one, i guess, was the best :

(a snippet of the snippets)
listen, i say, and i want to tell you the whole story, but it rolls around dangerously in my head. so i say,
what if there was a great boulder in the room, and you've no idea how it go it, its so much bigger than the door.
what? you say. you turn beside me, speaking into my back.
a boulder. its nearly as big as the room, i say. and its slowly coming towards you-
towards me? you say.
towards us, i say, and its crushing all the things in the room.
it'd better not, you say. we havent paid this bed off yet, im not having it destroyed by a stupid, what is it, boulder?
but listen. what if there was a great big stone in the room, i say, big enough to almost be up to the ceiling, and as wide as from there to there.
a stone, you say sleepily. as big as the room. coming towards us. wheres my chisel? get me a chisel, find something we can use as a hammer. you'd pay a fortune for that much rock at a stonemason's.
under the convers you take my hand and turn it around, put your fingers throuhg mine, interlocked, and you fall asleep like that, holding my hand.

that's all it takes. one glance, one sidelong blow from you, and a rock as big as a room explodes into little bits of gravel. i pick around in the shards of it, remember someone i saw today in the art gallery, a stranger, a man who sat down next to my sleeping father with such care, trying not to wake him. i remember my father like he was way back then, showing me the inside of the plug and which colour went where, and i think of my father now, flirting with a woman in a supermaket. i make the woman very good-looking, to please him, and a little like my mother, to please us both. i remember the man i saw all those years ago in the space where the garage had been, cradling his genitals like he was holding a creature (the psycho was flashing at the narrator when she was little); and the fathers, stupid with protection, hurling themselves along the backs of the houses; and my mother telling me to shield my eyes so the hairspray chemicals wouldnt get in them. and then i think back to jackie and me in london waiting at that bus stp, two teenage girls in a random city, good enough to believe the lies that a stranger told, even caring in the first place that the stranger might be sad. (the stranger was planning to do harm to them and trick them into her house. and jackie and the narrator had something on between them in their teenage years. gotta read the rest of the story to get this whole chunk but anyway..)

youre next to me asleep with my hand still in yours, my father is snoring in the hall, and im not long from sleep myself. i lie in our unpaid bed and trust you, carelessly, precariously, with my whole heart. thats the story finished, thats all there is to it. one last time though, before i lock the door on it for the night, turn the sign from Open to Closed, i picure jackie, wherever she is, wherever she might be in the world.
i imagine shes holding such a hand. i imagine her safe and sound.

-

okay that was long.

was shuffling my poddie the other day and out came all the songs i havent heard in a long time..

there's lfo..

Sometimes we sit around
Just the two of us on the park bench
Sometimes we swim around
Like the dolphins in the ocean of our hearts
But then I think about the time
When we broke up before the prom
And you told everyone that I was gay, OK
Sometimes I walk around the town
For hours just to settle down
But I take you back and you kick me down

and thrs blink 182..

In the car, I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance
Do you like my stupid hair
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear
I'm just scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

hahah. sweet old pop.


Far East has really cool stuff (but i have yet to really try them out bcos someone was being so condescending :O..KIDDING). cant wait to check out Marina Sq ltr with Phi-
& V for Vendetta's good. a little like American History X, not less real, but maybe a bit more romanticized. and i cannot get enough of Natalie Portman! i loved her in Closer with Jude Law!

ohmygod.

this a public apology to Sabrina Wee Yue Wen, who i, the lousy friend, forgot it was her birthday on the 20th and it only hit me today when i was looking at the clock ohmygoodness! IM SORRY SAB!! ahhh. i swear i knew it ws around the corner but it slipped my mind cos i didnt even knw the dates as they went by me! dui bu qi!!!!! i will buy you ten thousand bottles of coffee! -hangs head. lousy block tests arent an excuse but i do hope you had a greatgreatgreat day which im sure you did. finally legalllllll! and may this year be a better one. (: love you! and im sorry again!

other stories and other stories

to soak in the air of spontaneous pump and vigour radiating all around plainly by just being yourself.
wting i miss you! your call made my day.

oc 3 eps 11-15 ; 4 popcorns! despite the morbidity oozing out from the wrong places. never ever take it out on seth cohen!

was a rather (: week ;
journey of shopping, eating, lazing around, travelling all around, just anywhere but further away from my books. yay.

ahh.

sab hope you had a safe flight and are having a ball of a time with the kids. (though you prolly wldnt read ths)

someone send me the absinthe glow pretty pls?

If it's all a mystery
I seem to have figured it out
Even though I haven't got a clue

With a smile on my face
My heart's in the right place
A walk like this makes days seem too short

random craving for banana cheese prata! grr, our long-postponed trip to casuarina?!?!
aights. time to scoot off for some math nursing at the tutor's.

i shouldnt have wasted those days

So i'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now im scared thats how id like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until i'm taken by these bolts of pain
But i turn them off and tuck them away
till these rainy days that make them stay
And then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And i dont think they'll ever go away

sit and ponder hard over what stayed constant.
too many people on this brief merry go round.


tis the season where the math loathing is rediscovered !
and i start missing L Word.. (and Sab too)


and i thought of you so
tings PLEASE check your mail.

fashion fads.

always believed that love can make a leopard change its spots,
just whether if it is enough.
maybe the answer is laid out on your skin.
-does a rapid skin check!

or maybe it's just me.


Not to say I'm right
Not to say today
And not to say a thing tonight

But suffice it to say
You're leaving things unsaid
We sing ourselves to sleep
Watching the day lie down instead

And we are leaving some things unsaid
And we are breathing deeper instead


time to move away from Far East for a bit, haha.

She fell in love in the first place

looking back these past three short months i realised
the year began, saddled with trials and attempts
that i guess i should learn to overcome and deal with.
okay random thought to myself.

mac's breakfast and bag shopping with jiangtzu & sammiekins today! (:
rather productive and contented..
shall be off for some productive studying too.
to cut the slack and the guilt :freaky thoughts & talks about the future with them two..
The Future Freaks Me Out (JEW) indeed..sigh.

nearing block tests give me the shudders and fills me with dread.! grr..
but looking a little forward to the old & lovely study-togther-at-cafes days..
hope we'll be having some of that now that some old hatchets are buried! -winks at charm. haha.

seeing gleaming hopeful eyes of j1s plants some yearning to turn back time again
BUTTTTT maybe notttt.
-recalls own orientation..which i blatantly skipped.
always held strong adversity against those annoyingly embarassing tell-me-your-name-school-and-ccas intros. :but then again,
i don't really feel like an eighteen year old. (i know i'm still seventeen and don't tell me how old i look like!)
i don't wanna grow up!!!!!!
okay childish rants aside,
endless heaps of work await.

step on your old size nines

in a few minutes,
a monumental record is created!
(:*

11:11

craving for : ben & jerry's and green tea frappe >:(

recieved some pics jst nw ;


me with nai on new year's eve.
(steph! why dont have you?? cant rmb.)



jiang's surprise bday on 2oth!
(yes everyone but her is present cos shes the one taking the picture from above :|)

\enlargeable.

and yucks! made the awfully slow discovery of the hugeee -ve impact of my numerous hair traumas. looking very atrocious. must leave my hair alone for as long as i can help it ._.

-

new love : stereophonics! haha. though they sometimes sound a bit like greasy old men.

and on the topic of love,
i shall briefly comment that
love = cheese.
it sticks with you, makes your words turn into cheeseballs, fluffs and fattens you, makes you feel airy, like you can lie on cotton candy clouds and not fall through. and even if you fall.. okay i shall stop here.
see, love = cheese.


and i know as i am saying this
i am jinxing everything.
thoughts of a mixed up superstitious cynic.
i know, paradoxical irony.

-

Brokeback Mountain ; 3.5 popcorns (could hardly keep my eyes open..a tad toooooo draggy though uber sweet and moving content and graphics. but i really do think it ws the vodka, sab)

Casanova ; 3 popcorns

Syrianna ; 1 popcorn (DISlike it.)

wanna watch Hidden and The Constant Gardener! but..

urgh.
the stress is mounting!
hate the new stuff im learning this year.

and the poddie mini's capacity is too annoyingly tiny..am too darn lazy to pick out songs so tht more new ones can be added so i keep listening to the same old ones..and everytime i try to bring myself to delete some songs i end up convincing myself that i do need all these songs too though the truth is i don't really listen to them at all so i STILL wind up listening to the same old songs and thus end up caterwauling endlessly like i am now. haha.

da, congrats! i knw hw happy you are with all your smileys. will find out who tht itchy mouth bitch is!

yz tsktsk! as always im faster and furiouser than you! haha. further discussions in sch! haha.

read my thoughts and my lips please.
(i tried your ears.)

so am i.

in economics, NY = C + G + I + (X - M)
i have a similar theory, where C + G + I + X + NY = M

G = gender
I = ideas
C = contasts
X = external forces
NY = no/yes, indicting eternal perplexion
M = mental distortions that cannot be corrected

assumption currently witheld is that this is a vicious cycle that cannot be escaped.
(evaluate and tell me its incorrect?)

good talks with everyone but me.
good talks with everyone but you.

backspaced all my way back here..shall not unleash monstrous me -looks at da.

im sorry im such a letdown that i know i am.


random, but so UNtrue.

Your Birthdate: December 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame. You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them. Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing. You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship. Your strength: Your charm Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics Your power color: Indigo Your power symbol: Four leaf clover Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

charm my ass.

to everything there is a reason,
and a time for letting go.

happy early 18th birthday
dada dsf!
wtfk!

i love you (:

(mushy stuff shant be overly stated and privy to all eyes..will do discreetly! hahah)

mini party for the jiang tzu earlier on (:
love springing surprises one after another on her!
she and her little grave hugs HAHAH.
went a bit nuts with the lomo in sch and at the zoo (manny's place, actually) and pulau hitam+horlicks at island creamery (and us cheapskates printing pictures too)

oh, how everything changes.
random laments.
off.

no doubt; underneath it all.
do you really .. love me, underneath it all

frou frou; breathe in

foiled sullied plans will not dampen the insistent spirit of loveee (:



happy
belated valentine's, &
early birthday jiang tsu & sis!

p.s truckloads of work = mounting stress :|
p.p.s i Y da+dinah! mina youre being missed, dear girll.

YYYs

You left it, I sent it
I want it back
You left it, I sent it
I want it back

If I had you here, I'd clip your wings
Snap you up and leave you sprawling on my pin
This plan of mine is oh so very lame
Can't you see the grass is greener where it rains

Accept it, Don't let it
Turn the screw
Accept it, And let it
Scream back at you

the simplest words

i guess i was too caught up with myself
and it didnt occur to me that
i'm sure they didn't mean it after all.

this must sound weird, but i suddenly recall
when i was a small kid i didnt understand how could people have good and bad days,
i was never really happy or sad..i just did what i had to do everyday
(i hope i dont sound like some emotionless kid)
and now i realise my realisations out of the blue..
that sometimes good and bad things can happen
but maybe the happiest is when i can turn the sad around
and the saddest is when the happy has to be turned around by the sad.
but if i don't turn it around and around i wouldn't know to appreciate every little thing and still be the ignorant stony little kid i once was.

this is basically what i'm talking about..
:(:

okay totally rambling to myself..

bloated from xlb lunch.!
oh, last night saw tings for a little short while the first time since she left..i'm just beginning to feel the miraculous impacts of technology. the webcam is really cute. haha.
hope you know it made me (: ! (not the technology, silly. you!)


sigh.
weird things that people do.. :
jet hold on

the subject could be you.

amidst all the laughter and fun //

such is the state whereby
when you miss your friends,
you visit their blogs.
you fail to leave a tag despite.
you type a text message.
you fear to send it to them.

the hesitation,
the disappointment.

hint of pathos.

this othello essay assignment will be the death of me.


p.s kill the kinship. grr.

white rose petals and tinkerbell.

she said -
puttin it all aside, the year's ending (or so it will be soon) and i wouldnt be seeing you 8 hours a day anymore wendyss.. maybe we'll look back and wonder why we were so unhappy and realise maybe they were happy times.

(:

he said -
surprise !
a day in the park,
is the life.

(:

lovess.


..
so lay all your troubles down
i am with you now..


alrighty. off for econs ._.

expectations

the to do list.
\ cut the pangs
\ cut my bangs
\ quit blaming pms (pre/post) on every sad day
\ quit being so insecure (hard though..it's been my middle name all my life)
\ stop popping cny goodies into my mouth (omg FATTTT + ZITTY face.)
\ stop homework procrastination
\ treasure what i have.
\ MEET UP WITH LONG LOST PALS.
\ BE HEALTHY. (perpetual flu, itchy eyes and heavy head! :c)
\ BE NICEEEEEE.
\ BE HAPPYYYYYYYY.

big smilesxzsx.
(:

tmrw's a Brand New Day (Forty Foot Echo)

so what if it's too late for New Year resolutions..
i can do Chinese New Year resolutions!
is this a new year for the Chinese?
i think it is..so as a Chinese, i get to start anew!
happy lunar new year, people!

cny was okay ths year, i guess..
$$ !! food !!
noisy aunties, billowing cigarette smoke, lousy tv progs.
always lose money gambling!
was fun at jiang's (:

way away

xcountry was .. (ran half of the journey. started with chasing joyce the crazy sudden energy spurter girl.)
it feels as though mcritchie shrunk
cj last year, i ran the whole 3.2 and it was never ending.

ystd @ mannie's was funfunfun (lost money playing the never ending in-between thanks to unexplainable evil money-sucking patch of floor, watched Butterfly Effect in 'cinema', played pool, 'snacked' over pizza........)
her villa house is wowowow.

but tell me just what has it ever meant


It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down

off to meet Steph.
too depressive for school.

tings miss you too much! things are never the same..read my mail?

the future freaks me out

let's fade together

franz ferdinand's fade together makes you feel like pointing your toesies and prance around..haha.


today was productive shoppinggg :DD
was one hyped up girl before the trip, and am fully contented now..
with 4 tops, a lil warehouse pouch, earrings..
it's been a month!
more stuff to get though. there always are..

hrmm, caught geisha a few days back..
was 4.5 popcorns worthy!
zzy is hotttt.
but gongli beats her hands down..
sweet ice and coy looks, lil chiyo and chairman, hahah.

i hope next week would successfully be catching up week..
the cny reunion mood is getting to me.

okay and the phrase catching up reminds me of my truckload of work which i have conveniently left behind me :hope to get some done at mp lib w phi tmrw (:


If you'd be honest and say what you mean
You know I would promise i'd do anything
Because I know that without you I'm giving it away.


it's never the quantity, but the quality. yes? (:
it really doesn't bother me.

tings girll, :c check your mail! miss you lotsss. doing up new songs in your poddie now, hahas. reminds me of us squashed up in one bed in mandarin (even though there were two beds), listening to calendar girl over and over.

silent running

thursdays are an absolute waste of my time
can't believe ive been dutifully going to school despite having to attend on PE lessons..what is this!

but school is getting a tad more bearable..
even the compound's increasingly appealing!

feels like i'm rotting my life away
it's like you're sitting in a window seat in the train and watching your world happen outside from inside in wonder.

but then again sometimes
there are birds and bees (i see them as er, embodiments of wonderful happenings, haha.)
(:


torrential downpours but also birds and bees, yes.

hahah.
immensely incoherent i am.


yay!
charm is finally spared from the clutches (and bruises) of rhythmic for a day!
Geisha tmrw (:

steph and i, and a cardiff grove makes studying impossible. guess we need a marine parade library. hahah.


Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

but you left

If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take my heart away
Promise me just one more night
Then we'll go our separate ways
We've always had time on our sides
Now it's fading fast
Every second every moment
We've gotta make it last

tings, youre greatly missed..

actually i miss a great deal of people..
when school started everyone just scurried off.
oh well.
another week of school ahead!
takes in a deep breath..
here we go.


p.s i love the swings at night (:

straightjacket feeling

everyday, i stop short at deciphering/ deciding what i'm going to be like.

all of the things that i thought were so easy
now seem harder and harder each day


i watched the raindrops trickle
through and in the window
i blink in the thunder
it's snowing this summer.

stars; calendar girl

If I am lost for a day,
try and find me
But if I don't come back,
then I won't look behind me
All of the things that I thought were so easy
Just got harder and harder each day
December is the darkest
And June is the light
But this empty bedroom won't make anything right
While out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home
Who waits up for me all through the night
Calendar girl whos in love with the world stay alive
Calendar Girl whos in love with the world stay alive
I dreamed I was dying
as I so often do
And when I awoke
I was sure it was true
I ran to the window
threw my head to the sky
And said whoever is up there,
please don't let me die
But I can't live forever,
I can't always breath
One day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea
The pages keep turning,
I'll mark off each day with a cross
And I'll laugh about all that we've lost
Calendar Girl who is lost to the world
Stay Alive
January, February, March, April, May I'm alive
June, July, August, September, October I'm alive
November, December, all through the winter,
I'm alive

pretty (:
will someone pleaseeee send me this..

hrm.
why is my google and blogger in Chinese?!?!


favourite hangout these days = hole up the Meritus Mandarin,
something to look forward to after school..
not for long though..
good things come with expiry dates.

alrighttt.
am off to scribble some econs. :/

was almost perfect

you know there are times when i feel like wriggling into a little hole and hibernate in there till its safe to come out.
now is one of those days..

school sucks.
you form so many queer and uncanny relationships in junior colleges.

by the way,
horrid haircut.
don't ask.

it's gonna be a longgg year.

but, for forming those smiles on my face, thanks (:*

love, actually

the past few days.

firstly, i loved all the little presents received! (:

met up with Tings,
favourite girls and we know some things don't change.
(p.s don't be mad with mom anymore, we'll see you next week! and thanks for lovelyyy wallet :D)

she pulled me and i stayed,
making a mental note i always would.


been seeing Steph almost everyday
HAHA
girl i love you larhh.
(p.s don't be mad that i'm still online and not at your house though i'm an hour late and i bet you're still sleeping!)


ooh. yesterday was ultimate shopping day..
sales everywhere!
Levi's, esp, was a steal.
hehe.

Gemma Ward's gracing the covers of TeenVogue.
whee.
very eye candy. haha.


btw, i'm sorry that i suck in verbal communication.
hahah.
i think it was quite amusing.
but thanks for..i dont know. haha. but,
thank you.
(:


never underestimate the power of a mobile phone.
it truly connects people
you can talk to a few people when you're with one person.
but sometimes the multitasking gets too much (when different people have different problems and it all gets a bit mind boggling) and i feel like i'm split into a few pieces, haha.
but still, i think it's the best invention! after air conditioners. haha.
but anyway, thanks to those who were probably split into a few pieces as well and had a piece of them with me..


and never overestimate 'value for money'.
a 6 bucks pencil can disintegrate faster than one that costs 2. >:c

okay i'm being really random. haha.


alright, my random entry is growing out of hand and Steph's gonna kill me for being ultra late. cutting hair (wish me luck!! imagine how jinxed it would be if i had a bad haircut just before New Year :| KeKe, i put myself in your hands! haha!) and meeting the sec2 people later on..

i'm hope i'm gonna have a mellow New Year's just the way i like it..
(can't believe '05 is over! i feel like it's only been 6 months)


Happy New Year's, all! may the next year be a good one.. (:
don't forget resolutions.

'best'

sleighbells ring, are you list'nin?
in the lane snow is glist'nin
a beautiful sight
we're happy tonight
walkin' in a winter wonderland

gone away is the bluebird
here to stay is the new bird
he sings a love song
as we go along
walkin' in a winter wonderland

Dinner At the Money Table

23rd - Yins + bf's bbq @ his place / Falala @ Indochine
was sucky for me.
really don't wanna talk about it..
so Sabrina Wee, pls do not remind me of Mr. Violent..
my goosebumps surface and my hairs stand.
was really upset. rawr. :c
butttt other than some stuff
guess it was quite fun.
i do realise i like dancing with Freda Kwok (:

anws, the bbq was alright..
thanks for the effort, Yins! (:



24th - CityHarvest
ER. i have nothing to say.
okay i have a stomach-full of words to sprout
but guess it's not suitable to be published so..
anyway i would have talked to close friends about it so it doesn't matter.
-
saw Very. Lovely. Furla wallet.
anyway, thank you thank you thank you for coming, it meant a lot to me, and to Steph too (:



25th - Lunch w Sab + Ree @ CoffeeClub / Dinner @ Steph's
caught up with the girls, FINALLYfinally i'm seeing the both of them together..
and i do like talking to Sabrina Wee
Ree the poor girl had to return back to work promptly after her one-hour lunch break was over :had a mellow and very lovely time at the Cheong's HAHA
Phi's dad whooped up some dish and we had red wine (eugh! we prefer Choya! Choya rocks!)
ahem, and of course, Christmas wouldn't have been complete without Love Actually.
love love love the show.
sigh. (:
and of course a trip to her house would have been empty
without LB :D dunzo. hahah.
STEPH! wldnt have great times / managed my little ordeals without you.
merry little Christmas my favourite manicurist in the world (:


and an edited quote from LB
\ what happens in the club stays in the club.



as you can see
i'm doing the list-my-deeds typical entry
cos i feel like i haven't done so in a long time!


i don't want a lot for Christmas,
there is just one thing i need..

just because it's Christmas,
(and on Christmas you tell the truth)..
to me, you are perfect
and my wasted heart will love you

(special request by StephCheong)

im waiting for the sky to fall
im waiting for a sign.

whateverrrrrr.

return of Tings!
<333333
fab day despite.
:D welcome backk, sweets!!




ignore my lian hair pls. was waiting for it to dry. me and Steph!! (:



now pls kindly ignore me looking psychotic in messy pinned up hair. the star : Megan the cutiepie in my arms! we love furball! ((:

\ enlarge-able.

Letter From An Occupant

thanks for
not-so-surprising surprise, guys (:
and c, pretty kit was ah, prettyyy. haha.

ate too much choc (but thanks for moose, jyingz,
watched too much tv (friends! 5 popcorns for its aww-worthy content. Elizabethtown..2.5 popcorns for its extreme randomness and being a letdown..)



Daydreaming, been sitting, the corner cafe

all the small things

i just want to say
that my blog content sometimes,
shouldnt be taken seriously
cos not every word mean something..
some are just really random song lyrics/ phrases that i feel like linking up
so blind guesses and conclusions jumped are much unappreciated, thank you very much.

ohkay.
that aside,
been missing people.

i want to ask what happened?
but i guess we know better.
i just hope i still have a place
and when youre back things will get better, don't you? (:
i hope you know im talking about you.
you know i'll always care/ love you,
i didn't move on,
you're always a part in my life.
(AWW totally cheeseball :)

today, i
just realised why i prefer iced water to normal water (distinctly different taste!)
watched Aeonflux (2.5 popcorns)
did 5 math questions (first attempt to study since promos ended omgg)
walked around so much (training ah haha)
found how to deal with my BAD haircut (hope it's fine, urgh. hate it when these things happen)
recieved another birthday present (very sweet la.)
was on speed dial for an almost dying friend (okay total exaggeration)
was make up artist again (you're welcome)
ate and ate (but walked and walked!)
am happy.

yesterday, i
went to the mango sale (omgness those people nvr see clothes before?!?)
but spent all my money on m)phosis stuff instead (my other cheap alternative clothing line! mango sizes no longer fit me. it's like zara! sad to say.)
got pissed, annoyed, hurt but then amused, and touched after.
had a good talk over Coffeebean salad and choc (therapeutic!)

sometimes people surprise you
by showing you they care at times when you least expect them too.
so hey Sab,
thanks (:* (i know you'd think the * is gross. IT'S A FLOWER! CUTE OHKAY.)

alright. photos! (yes they are mostly posted on da's blog alr but i dnt care! haha)



the sign dinah painstakingly did for me outside my house and me posing retardedly next to it | us in the bedroom with da's purple design (:



us on King Kong's palm!
(as always, click to englarge)

<3

song of the day!
dashboard conf.; so impossible
I'm dying to know
do you do you like dreaming of things
so impossible or only the practical
or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad bad days
just to end them with
someone you care about
or do you like making out
and long drives and brown eyes
and guys that just
don't quite fit in
yeah do you like them


phi! wo hao xiang ni wo! HAHA.
dinah wong! im (: for you.

now i know what sort of friends stay in your life,
the kind who will always be there and let you know that,
and those who don't let you know, but always worth your waiting for them to.

be the girl

alrightyyy
overall seventeenth was fabfabfab,
thanks for all the calls, sms texts (be it at 11:58p.m or 12:00a.m, or days late), emails, blog entries, tags, friendster testimonials (though i scarcely use friendster..) etc, be it jolted by good ol' memory or friendster birthday reminders or what not, all the smileys made my day. made my days, actually.

+many double takes peeping through the eyehole of my door, hahah.

Ree and Sab dropped by and gave me a surprise at 11ish when i just reached sunny Singapore ((: was over the moon to see my friends! the Msia trip was pretty fucked up. Anyhows, thanks, guys! for the oreo cheesecake, book, and Borders gift card..Ree was being a Dirty little bitch but you are forgiven (:

then Da, Dinah and Mina totally shocked me the following day with a little Happy Birthday sign with balloons outside my house and a tiny strawberry cake. sweet. ((: and sorry for being so predictably late (i paid my price! was caught in my pink nightdress :\) tsktsk many other people were secretly in cahoots in this affair hahah. we ate @ The Balcony and then had our favourite DQ ice cream! (:

am totally touched and exploding in happiness though perhaps concealed by my extreme fatigue thank you thank you, people (:

and just now,
was over at the Phi's
the disgusting girl has now transferred her love from Feifei to Keke
how gross and disloyal but at least Keke did some wonders..Feifei was a letdown! losing his golden touch! hoho.
had a fantabulous time! lb, french manicures, dar williams (for you) chantal kreviazuk (for me), moackable nightpants, packing for 4 days/mths, panda eyes, healthy+frugal meals, Moments..even waiting for the bus Under No Roof proved therapeutic! ahh i <3 you! but i forgot to snoop around for my presents cos you were -GASP awake before i was!?!


anyways decided im far over and under the Msia trip
so shan't bother with the details.
lazy and redundant.

What's this life anyway
What's it to you and me
What's it to anyone
Who are we supposed to be
Make me a storybook
Write me away from here
I need a different now

There's four roads to anywhere
Four ways to everything
We were unbreakable

Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow a smile
I'll get through tomorrow somehow today
Happy After..

Once upon these days

the take on sensitivity is perhaps
over for my case and
under for you.

-

pictures up another day!

-

swear to secrecy?
bull.

mister weatherbee

wish i could be
everything i (and everyone else) wanted me to be.

steph thanks, phi..dont know what i'd do without. (: btw cldnt read your prev msges! wht you tagged in my tagboard's all gone :c LOVE.

will update abt msia trip and birthday soon when im in the mood..
but in advance,
thanks to those who bothered! i've never felt so smiley (:

the milk song

yes Da, you were right -points at blog title. haha

had frugal dinner at amk and watched the very gruesome and sadistic Saw at the Dsf's with SSS (yes we are pretty slow)
yikes! freaking cringe-y and wince-y movie.
but shit smart too.
aye let's watch the Saw II together?? :D
(+Zhongguo town and Balcony 13th k)

speaking of which,
my one day Msia trip is constantly burgeoning..
it has suddenly blossomed into a five day get-away
Genting and KL, i'll be at.
and it SOMEHOW just managed to eat into my birthday.

how..lovely.

on the 12th i'll be blowing 17 candles in the middle of Truly Asia Malaysiaaaa.
(insert dancing birthday hats)

and that is why,
my dear C, you guys can't have primetime 12th..
grr. so i guess whenever will be fine yes.
i told you what happens at my birthday every year :c
not any better this year.
SIGHH.
well was nice meeting you and the Moor for the few minutes
i dont knw wht else you wanted to do at 1130pm at amk mrt station,
but i wanted to go home and take out my contacts hahah.
ANYWAYS did your little sweetandhilarious story spark off any second takers? HAHAH :D
see you darling. maybe you could help me think of what to do about my pathetic seventeenth. <33

can't wait to cut my hair tmrw!
my hair has an uncanny ability to annoy me once it reaches a certain length.
it grows wavy and disgusting.
PHI!
so much for our study plans..
just when we were getting into it (planning Study Sleepover timetable??!?!)
what were we doing all Novemeber?!?!?
sighh. shall cheer up after some LagunaBeach and OC tmrw.
maybe we'll catch some rays and bubble in some warmth
and study a little after my haircut :\ (is that even possible?? i gtg early evening to pack..)
and yes, i guess we wont be able to squeeze in birthday lunch / tea before Sq leaves.
UGH.

so much for getting in better shape by trying out Yoga (Ree's Amore thingy has already expired)
so much for getting in better shape for my academics (DID NOT TOUCH ANYTHING AT ALL except to copy some notes which i totally couldn't even comprehend)
so much for internship/ being employed (other than tutoring on Sundays which is something im not even sure im holding on to at this moment)

ah, procrastination is the evil of all success.
i feel like i hardly did anything this hols and it is beginning to peeve me out.
hate being unproductive but what have i morphed into!??!
a full-time slug/ stoner.

does anyone sense my annoyance here??
i do hope it'll be a jolly trip
and not angst-ridden with secret rolling of eyes.
though i am every inch the Family Girl Awardee (second to Dinah) but you know how friction occurs when there's more time to be often rubbed together..

on the brighter side,
i made two of my christmas presents!
wheeeee.
i think this year's presents are the best!
cos im making part of it!
hope people who're recieving them will appreciate! (: they'd better! only giving a bit more than 10 people so it goes to show they really matter to me AH. ha ha!)

hrmm. maybe when i'm back i'll sort out some stuff
AND dedicate the last few days to get down to having some work done
and enjoy Tings' return + parties + Christmas + New Year's more guilt-free
there's a thought..

Ree! i'd like to know when will you and Sabrina Wee Yue Wen BOTH be finally free..but anyways i have proclaimed the top i bought with you as Birthday Top! haha. MISS YOU. (read about your shopping tonardo..you better save some of it when im back)

rightt.
gotta be seated in front of Steph's computer by 10am tmrw :\ (why are we lying to ourselves)
off i go!
take care, all.

p.s the disappearance of Huang Wei Ting is mysterious and inabilities to carry out investigation has led to sadness. misses.

p.p.s i want JayZZ's Lang Man Shou Ji nownowNOW! somebody send me! :c

ghost of a good thing

playing with a 6 year old for an hour odd + swinging really high (!) + lagunabeach for hours = wooziness + totally worn out.

hahah

I guess it's luck but it's the same
Hard luck you've been trying to tame

rightt. @ Steph's. swinging by forum for some guilt-free Classics!

everytime he held you close
yea were you thinking of me


today is arts and crafts day
i brought my miserable materials and pretended i didnt craft any intention to steal green paint, yellow paint, brushes (yea right..we painted with TOOTHBRUSHES ah HAHA), toothpick, white glue (turns transparent did you know??), newspaper.. paler paler! HAHA

okay lazy to elaborate what else i sneakily didnt bring.

nicenice (: except maybe my ah-soh ness and wittyness was too much to bear haha

and Strange Awakenings, which i shall not elaborate either..
ohkay this is a lazy entry..
shouldn't have bothered..

did i mention i had this terrible food poisoning (shoulder of responsibility unacclaimed and unidentified but suspiciously, from a certain shop, a slice of FREE yummy oreo cheesecake, that worked its devil beneath its creamy shade of delish innocence!!) that still haunts my tortured stomach till this day! >:c

i finally done up a new playlist for the poddie! (yes it includes Jayzz so sue me :)
was getting so bored of the old one..
and i think im getting too attached to the mini..
but how do you shower love on an object?!
it's as unexplainable as having a favourite stuffed toy..
a burning question since i grew out of my best friend Scruffles (my 'pet' dog..i talked..okay and sometimes cried..to?!?!)
(disclaimer: my real best friend was a living and breathing bitchy raggedy ann doll who broke my heart every minute she wasnt making me smile..)

you know they say if you love someone
you tell him/her everything that's on your mind,
share your joys/woes first thing,
will never get sick of him/her,
you'll set them free even if it means leaving him/her,
blahblah,
but doesn't that sound perfect
and we all know love is anything but.
maybe what we think is right doesn't actually counter for anything.
maybe it's just made-up,
cos some dumbass said so
and we're all nodding solenly in agreement.
or maybe it's just me and my excuses..
for everything and nothing
ohmyy what am i talking aboutt!

i finally made my 11:11 wish!
this reminds me of Da..i can imagine her checking her cell and seeing that it's 11:11, mumble to herself and make a wish
HAHAH. did you, kwokiegurl??


but i know,
it's over before it even began.


i havent had a long + incoherent entry in a long time!
i used to do this when im feeling okay and in the mood to be crappy
(maybe i should stop talking to anyone/ reading/ seeing/ thinking about anythingso this stays)
if you compare, it'll contrast
the present and the past.

rightt. i need to stop rambling soon..

TINGS omg i miss you. HURRY SCUTTLE OVER! how was econs anyway? (i need to mention how psychotic your sch is for the umpteenth time to cover BOTH micro and macro within ths short expanse of time and everything?!?! disgusting + erpi!!)

ohkay. this reminds me..
i NEED to start studying soon
gotta gear myself for the formidable terror i shall embark when..
im done with feeling mortified of returning to the books (too late though..heard some already started early last month OMGGGG)
:c

like always, i'll just hibernate in my little hole till it's my cue.

when i needed you the most
yea i hope you are happy
\ the all american rejects

i'll give you my hand
if you reach out and grab it

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the other side of the world
to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along (??)

i wish you tried.

i need some good ol' laugh-till-my-tummy-hurts sort of fun.
havent had it in ages.
maybe that's all i need for christmas.

and then if you can remember

inner neat freak kicks in and before i know it,
spent the day reorganising stuff strewn about,
rediscovering Lancome Juicy Tubes,
unveiling and re-burying past letters and gifts
+years of vday presents = evidence of being a St. Nicholas girl! (:
blobs and splashes of pinks-and-reds.

missmissmiss the combined forces of open ultra girly-ness/ easy heart-to-hearts and conferences/ crazy holiday ideas.
time and time again,
i'm asking myself
do they have to go away?

took me a year to realise secondary years are really over.

Ever so sweet,
You make this seem,
The way things go..
It's not my fault.
And I'll miss,
I'll miss you so good..
All of those nights,
We lost our way back home

and so, to you..
And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember

hope you know you're still the best i ever had.
-

Ys ash; starcrossed (:
& msn 7.5! (yes im wols..)

off for dinner out.

\ tings ! hehe you called me again is it? i was looking at shuwei's blog (as usual, trying to track you down haha) and i suddenly miss you!!!! hurry come back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:c can't wait!!!!

many firsts

Sleeping awake and awake when I'm sleeping
I've got a dry kind of thirst, when drenched
On sunny days, all I can see is a shadow
And I'm not above being under

And I'm at the brink though I know that I'm empty
And I always hide when it's my turn to seek
My only belief is not to have faith in believing
Before I begin, I'm over

Broken off again
When I'm only not lonely when I'm lonely by myself
Always backtracked forward
Cause all in all, I'm disconnected

Quietly loud while noisily silent
Keep holding my breath when I'm trying to breathe
Swimming against all of the waves and the rapids
I only win when I'm losing

I just wanna live my life sedated
Cause I love driving myself away
Dysfunctionally sane, dont give a damn
I can't comprehend what I understand


-

havent stayed in on a Saturday for a long time!
but because of mixed up plans, here i am, legs outstretched, indoors with dark clouds looming ahead outside..

13 going on 30 - 3.5 popcorns
the notebook - 4.5 popcorns
chicago - 4 popcorns
the red shoes - 2.5 popcorns
oliver twist - 3 popcorns
just like heaven - 3.5 popcorns
prime - 4 popcorns ! (believe it or not)

i conclude that staying out or in too much just doesn't do my system any good
i get irritable, quiet, depressed or stony.
yea, maybe i'm weird but it's good to
strike a balance!
i feel better already.!

mom's cooking on a Saturday and i'm eating in! (:
feel the lurveee
hee.
rightt. before i get overly chirpy.

/ tings girlllll..check your mail! misses <3333
steph how i know..i cldnt believe jayzz had a song abt fruit tree soursop too whattt..can't wait for ep05!!

sun dippin'

yay! new layout again!
fickle ol' me.
haha.
anyway my summersmile looks so odd! can anyone help me fix that?
-eyes jyingzz hopefully
hahah

so anywayy
went tanning w Phi (:
i crown today the most productive tanning sesh ever!
yes, to the extent that i blacked out for a while
HAHA
freakyyyy.
Stocks thanks for taking care of me! and everything else <333
(i'm Ms. Papillio!) Notebook soon!

charm pls do take care! and i don't care, i know you're wearing long dresses!

**this post is posted merely to push the previous queer post down haha.

no hero in her sky.

haagen dazs, apple tea (with milk), endless walks around river (and bars belting out karaoke hits), thai dishes, chitchats .. (: <3 c.

da it IS like saying Paris Hilton is fat. and it IS killing me.

have you ever felt like..
okay i really shouldnt even bother trying.
it's so frustrating though.

you know, like you have a world of words revolving but for some uncanny reason, you're dumb and the words are just stringing around your mouth in silence and all the pent up frustration is building up and you're at the edge of bursting but you can't do anything cos you're..dumb.

okay am i making sense?
and yes, handicapped situation occurs to some people..
why of all people, with you?
it's never right.

and steph, it will NEVER, EVER, happen, cos how do you find such an amazing person that links you up and at the same time perks you over?? it's impossible. it's logic defying. and stop ordering Mac's at 12:47A.M! TSKK! but i want shaker fries too ):

dinah, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MSN 6.0!

hey ladies drop it down ; says:
dynamic wallpaper is damn fun. the things can move and i like talking to you cos the wallpaper makes me happy

how could you..!
but i like talking to you too
and it's NOT cos the wallpaper makes me happy!
it's cos..you're getting it.
THANKS! i was so urghhhhh.

-

GRR!
>:Z


it's ebbing away, we're running out of gas.


im freezing.
AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY TAGBOARD?!
i would love to make it right..if only i knew how.!
grr!

candy and collagen @ isetan

haha okay i kinda like this layout so i shall just leave it alone for a while
though its highly claustrophic and a tad depressing as compared to my previous quirky one..

and its the first time i ripped it off someone else!

hrmm. is there sth wrong with my tagboard? why are the words in the box white suddenly?! grr.

okay anyway its been really rainy
nice to sleep in (:

so sorry tings! hahah been sleeping through all your calls! haha nissin tom yam is an essential yes. shouldve sent more over..anyway how many weeks more?!?

though this weather is just impossible to tan in
shall live with winter whiteness then..

phi, so much for TT :
ree glad your first day went well! :D

some eye candy..




In the car, I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

When you smile, I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please dont look at me with those eyes
Please dont hint that your capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that I'm probably gonna miss

cute (:

right, am off! meeting charmgal00 ltr, hoho (:

-

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

looking for a little sweetness

Lately I can't be happy for no one
They think I need some time to myself
I try to smile but I can't remember
And I know tomorrow there'll be nothing else

incomprehensively so.
must be the pms.

nothing is fair,
-nods.

please can you tell me,
so i can finally see

rediscovering michelle branch, haha.


irajgiojadjgktr.


tings SO SORRY. was tutoring when you called jst now..how many weeks again..? ):

sick cycle carousel

PHI,
TT please !
and RR ?
and THANKS for everything, you're the sweeeetesttt. :D


so this is where inferiority seeps in through the cracks and crevices where insecurity seeps through
wave goodbye to silly grins.
it wontttt go away..


poor poddie has died ):
accidentally plopped into the sauna..sighhh.
hope the apple people won't discover how i mistreated my poddie and replace one for me


well.
-bares fangs.
moody.

the killers ; all these things i have done

I MISS ST NICKSSSSS !!
sigh.
met the others today..
maybe it was hardly palpable to the rest,
but i felt really warm inside (:
awww.

yins, thanks for the nice little talk
and the photo taking sesh
and dinah mr sijia, TENNIS MATCH was WOOHOO huh :D
hahah.
okay we were jst bouncing the ball to each other
and they laughed at my lousy ball sense!
but! i improved with time!
and yins was busy knitting away hahah so cute please.


and and
i feel really awful
but i dont know what to say..
helpless at the sidelines, yes.
sorry in advance :

p/s. jacob liaw sucks. HAH.

and so it is.

ree. says:
i cant wait!
-zooms off to shit

HAHA.
<3

(please don't kill me)


i watched the Tang Quartet today!
not exactly an enthusiast in this genre..
butttttt
was quite nice (:

clarke quay coffeeshops seem yummyyy
must go explore one day
(and not get lost)

Friends is just too sweeeeeet..
when Chandler proposed to Monica (though i would say they proposed to each other)
was ohmygod.
the portrayal of close-knit friends
being there when it happened, being there when it didnt happen,
happened because of them, didnt happen because of them
just basically through everything!
it gets you crying and laughing.


tings something wrong with the connections just now! phone kept hanging when you called and couldnt asnwer! :( sorry girlll. anyway haunted elizabeth sounds good enough, misssssssssss you.


it's never enough.

i just wanna sit and stare at you

YAY today's uber happy day with Phi
our retail therapy days (:
everything came in a pair and caused a headache, haha
almost stuffed a dress in a coat so that other people won't see it HAHA

anyway stephcheong your WB and matchboxtwenty+iris cool dude is too much
PLUS your airpork?!?!??!
why my class dont have!
hoho ;)

ystd watched Em Rose!
different angle / take from the Exorcist..
more meaningful, i'd say..
err then played awfulbadlousyihate pool
haha

dinah, i hope your dad's fine.. (:

random, but
don't you just hate it when drivers honk at you??
the green man was shining, obviously i have the right to cross
and the driver had the nerve to mid-swerve and honk at me cos i was in his way while i was happily messaging
and and at another occasion, another driver honked when i was crossing the zebra crossing at a perfectly normal pace!
what the hell..people need to be more patient.
and we thought safety was paramount.



okay another lame quizzzzz.

1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love.

You chose the short road--you fall in love quickly and easily.

2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a
relationship, while the number of white represents what you
expect in return.

You give 10% and expect 90% in return.

3. This question represents your attitude towards handling
relationship problems.

You like to get the person yourself--you are a more direct
person and like to work out problems immediately.

4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like to see
your boy/girlfriend.

You want to place the roses on the bed--you like to see him/her
a lot.

5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality.

You prefer the person to be asleep--you love the person as the
way s/he is.

6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone.

You chose the longer road--you will tend to stay in love for
a long time.


OH. ALMOST FORGOT..
the stupidsweetie is deeply missed (and yins+qing too! :)
dont secretly..openly tag me please! tskk!
<3

move along

tings missed you, girlll. am back to reading Someone Like You. remember Halley and Macon Faulkner? :)


gorged YUMMY longtong and nasi lemak and endless chilli tapioca and sweet cornflakes at Mat's (we all had like, 3 helpings)
then lazed around, took overly-formal pics..
we're all growing fattt.

getting unhigh on 4% and 5% lime and ice hahah.
first half was good
food facts found in magazines very enlightening !
but i forgot all about what i learnt, haha (and jyingz, what was it that you wanted?!?!? brilliant plan to con me very unbrilliant indeed..)
sitting around at Border's Children Designated Seating Area = wheeee-ness.

so we're looking at two toysrus employees
deer's ears on head and zooming around the store in under-sized toy car (not fighting with kids over bears pls!)
heels for 3 days = killer !
Tom Yam at good ol' Bishan with Ree was nice :) (did you know newly-renovated Bishan MRT station has huge built-in Guardian?!?)

Christmas lights in town are just fab. puts you in the mood! though a tad too red..where's the green? maybe Christmas could be blue-and-silver..

people generally are..i dont really get it.
can't read you,
at least know that we tried.
so i'll just..stay out of the way.

off to meet the Chanmalis soon
toodles'

outline of a storyboard

yesyes, lame things i do in the middle of the night..morning (??) in the midst of watching oc season 3, hahah. so far it's been really good..touching, even at the first episode! favourite season so far among all three!

You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls

You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl.

How Girlie Are You?

Your Reputation Is: Shy Girl

You've done pretty well in keeping your reputation protected.. Problem is, no one really knows who you are!

What's Your Reputation?

ER. OHKAY.

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Fashion Style is Classic

You like what's stood the test of time... Simple, well styled clothes that don't scream trendy You stay updated and modern, but your clothes stay in style for a while You wouldn't be caught in animal prints, fake fur, or super bright colors

What's Your Fashion Style?

okay..this lame activity has to end..back to oc..
toodles'

it takes courage

moving on to mildly related topics,
would you smile, or would you frown?

okay trigger point slightly too gargantuan..

hum-drum.. then, struck

stumbled upon, gained access to and was privy to a slice of my certain friend's innermost being..
and gasp,
there is so much more,
so much more.
(extreme, and not negligibly sparse)
i was just there, you know?

i cant believe i didnt know.

all the mind boggling questions,
but it's dawned upon me that all that doesn't matter.
the annonymity, the facade (deliberate or otherwise), the sworn secrecy (or maybe just coincidental failure to resurface), really doesn't matter.

i've learnt that
staying true to yourself sometimes,
is really really all that matters.
im proud of, and glad for you (:
now i know what the answer is, no matter what people say.

(..but generally, is it spontaneous ability met with stifled expressionism? maybe being upfront just doesn't do any good. but does everything have to benefit? here we are, blessed with the gift to do so, but its impossiblity questions the very existence of it at all. okay i shall not digress..okay this public incoherent monologue sesh has to end before any more quizzical eyebrows are raised..)


okay randomly,
yz! jiang! anybody! i want JayZZ! (secret, still. haha)

If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and
Keep it alive

Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone
In this life

So look up, take it away
Don't look down
The mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you

And you stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I've got a feeling
It's right

If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no make believing
The sound of the wings
Of the flight

Of a dove, take it away
Don't look down
The mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you


L word was very 4 popcorns! minus the porn at some extreme points..
out today with Ree
bakin' boys was ..!!
marshemllow + melt-in-your-mouth chocolate = double joyyyyyy.
swore my face was ballooning and now its too round for my own good! :c
anyway
anyone has ingram hill's more than a feeling send to me please?

teehee

a lil late but, here's us, at sammiekin's bday long ago, and also in school.. (:
most of the pictures look really strange cos of resizing but what the hell haha



jiang doing some strange things to me (i had a balloon stuck in my blouse..pretending to be pregnant!) | happiness at dontknwwhat | me+charm at coffeebean (pre-promos mugging days!) | sam me jiang charm | everybody at sam's bday | attempt of a gay shot with poor sam



line of bright lights | cuteeee sam bombarded with balloons! | charm me nette with c's board for sam | me grinning happily (jiang made me put the balloons on) | again, yz and i with the coloured blobs | L.O.V.E



sparkled us | charm me nette jiang (they bluffed me! supposed to do retarded face) | aww conjoined hearts, me and nette. L.O.V.E | twirling in the sparkles.


-


and my gbk's gone cos it was wayyy too sec3 and embarassing but signmyguestbook still hates me and i couldnt sign in at all so i got a .. tagboard! so tagtagtag me!

rightt am off to get ready and meet the others..

happenstance


THREE RANDOM FACTS BY ME

3. the new bathing foam mom bought smells really nice but i wonder what is goat milk doing in it?
2. best friends can telepathy each other..maybe you can teleport over?
1. i realise its rachael yamagata and not rachel! and the album is the prettiest ive ever seen..so i HAD to buy it (plus it was on sale)



TWO RANDOM FACTS BY MY MOM

2. talking on my mobile for 2 hours odd can cause brain cancer or a burst a blood vessel
1. my hair is growing thick and bushy, i ought to go cut hair with her (this is coming from the same woman who could not tell the difference when i went from all-pulled-back neatness to kid with bangs)



ONE RANDOM FACT BY THE SICK ONE

1. a 39 degree fever in the middle of the night can cause death in one's sleep! :O

that this was not your dream,
but you've always believed in me

im oh-so smart..
left my specs at nana's place
and one side of my contacts tore while it was in my eye (?!?!)
so now im half-blind 24/7
hanging on to what's left of my vision..haha

anywayy
i second dinah,
newsroom was funnn!
though the music was reallyyyyy bad.
and so squashed up, there was a point where we couldnt move at all.
but getting high makes you so unaware.

with empty stomach,
went to nana's place..
we were all just croaking about. (charm's croaks were the worst. thou shalt ne'er mock my manly voice at night anymore!)
washed my hair thrice to get the smoke out.
and to think that sabrina wee wanted to sleep in!
:
watched Closer..
was really good!
dedicate 4 popcorns for its emo-ness..
then had a slight tan..
weather was good,
perfect to laze around in and talk aimlessly..


what is it with all the emotions..
its insecurity i cant stand
but i am insecure myself.


and i know i dont feel it now
but it will sink in,
only a matter of time.


oh, and..
please stop being so smug.
that was all so yesterday..
stop it already..
i look at you now and wonder what was it then,
cos now i see nothing.

we're running out of gas

shooting stars are not stars at all. they're just rocks that enter the atmosphere and catch fire under friction. what we wish on, when we see one, is only a trail of debris.

-

"you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

she lies down, her head pillowed against my shoulder. every second, another streak of silver glows: parentheses, exclamation points, commas - a whole grammar made of light, for words too hard to speak.

-my sister's keeper. jodi picoulti.



-


sort of hibernating
i think sometimes i need that..
wonder how people go for endless parties and not grow weary.
but then again,
thats just me.


anyways.
eternal throb in my head!
it only occurs repetitively every afternoon.
cant blame it on math since i have officially left my brains to disintegrate ever since promos..


how now brown cow..
should i quit my job as a tutor..??
i wont be employed and be part of the paycheck-recieving working population to contribute to the economy! (though im aware that my measly pay hardly counts for anything but still.!)

i think i might miss the kids..
esp the 8 year old! (yesyes my favourite friend ah. haha)
though she sometimes cooks up fictatious comments like 'teacher i like your smile cos you look like a baby' :\ (imagine an 8 year old telling an almost 17 year old that she resembles an infant!!)
but sometimes also says the truth 'i love wendy teacher!'
and she also cries when i dont turn up or turn up later than usual..
so awww.
and how could i forget when we had such fun playing play-doh..
and when i sat there listening to her whine about how she hates her sister cos she stole her clothes, didnt let her cross the line of separation on their table.. (though i know deep down she loves her)
and how she persuaded me not her friend her classmates who pissed her off cos 'they very irritating one you know' (though i obviously dont know any of them..nor did i agree not to friend them cos in the first place, we arent even friends.! a logic she will never comprehend..)
and when she quizzed me endlessly about my boyfriend (who is, of course, non existent, but she somehow knows better than me myself and every week never fails to doodle stickmen on the whiteboard and surreptitiously scrawls 'wendy's boyfriend' on top of the spiky head of the latter..)
and..

okay so i will miss the kid.
:(
its so strange if you think about it..
never thought i'd grow fond of an 8 year old and actually be friends..


-


my train of thoughts suddenly backtracks to friday!

sometimes you just have good times with people
you dont exactly plan it but when the night falls and you find yourself walking around amongst well-lit streets (with a new buy in tow :), talking and gaining epiphany (of yourself and of the other person too) AND eating favourite one dollar ice cream (hahah), it makes me reallyyy happy.

happened a few times with different people
and the next time,
i hope it'd be with you.
but errr..
pretend i didnt say that..


-


we were such geeky thirteen year olds,
i miss all of that.
(you and your soccer socks!)

HAPPY 17TH, TINGS :D
GREATGREATGREAT year ahead,
i love you!

(details to be further recieved :)

shaded by the red

am turning into a full pledged ah ma / aunty..
first my mum said i dress like one when i attempted to look formal
then me and Da realise our eyelids are growing heavy at around 5+ cos we havent taken our afternoon naps (something we have coincidentally adopted post promos..)
and now i find myself very interested in Fullhouse..cant wait for Tings to come back and lend me! (though i dont know what on earth is she doing watching Korean drama in LA and how she laid her hands on the foreign object..)

:
goodness gracious.


anyway, pw op dry run was ohkay i guess
was a nervous wreck but gradually grew tired of waiting and it wore off
haha.


hrmm. some people, tsktsk. whyy again and again.


anyways, the discovery of the existence of infrared-ing and developing photos was amazing! though some people thought we were taking neoprints, YES..

had nice and mellow day with the Dsf,
old friends always feel good.
for some reason, i wish i was still an ij girl.

Nana also troubled Mr. Darling in another way
He sometimes had a feeling she did not admire him.
-Peter Pan


-


phi just lying aroundd on a Sunday with you's the best <3 stop deserting me with secret trips to Far East! >:| thanks for the cuteeee eraser :D my nails STILL smell of really strong nail polish!
nana THANKS for cookies ah, lucks for tmrw, The Confrontation..
TINGS haircut was :\ miss you! call me soon? (:
jyingz your call at 11pm was NOT lame at all ah..


for once, no tutoring!
hurrah!


breakfast buffet was : O
everyone had more than one helping
omgness the choc cream puff and eclair ! it just oozes out..
was blissfully contented, haha

my cousin who got married is like, 30 years old.
she looks like she's in her mid-twenties!
imagine when IM thirty!
sheeshhhh.

anywayy
had failed tanning mission 101 AGAIN
was up at Nana's rooftop, so just sat there talking
bought kitten heels (Charm! cheers, MATE :)
halloween costume plans! mighty exciting!
hope it doesnt all diminish like it always did..
dinner at Nooch w Ree was lovelyyyyyy, caught up a lil (:


-


a lil sth frm old OC eps!


Summer: The more time i spend with zach, the less times i think about ... God, what's his face? Built like a bean pole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on his sailboat, leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried over and over for him until the Fourth of July until she decides she doesn't cry over bitches on sailboats.
Marissa: Seth. His name. It's Seth.

Seth: Mom, I'm not feeling well today, I don't think I can go to school.
Ryan: Maybe you've gt the SUMMERf lu. Maybe you need some ANNAbiotics.

Alex: She can't fall for you if you aren't there to catch her.


:D


school tmrw.
draggg.

When you close your eyes
Do you like what you see?
Inside your mind
And do you like to dream
About the stars above?
Once in a while
Don't go to the other side
For nothing at all
Better make it worth your while
I'm gonna break down that wall
I'm gonna take the fall
Cause

Don't go to the other side
For once in a while
Once in a while


the best friend just called
she always seem to when im down and in the midst of emailing her haha
and now im happy (:

On the plane step up with both my feet,
Riding in seat number 3 on a flight to NYC,
Got my bean in a coffee cup next to my seat,
Catch the view and another good book to read,
Sending me home on the friendly skies,
Missin' her eyes,
It's always Penny and me tonight,

Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down,
Turn the radio up, and push the pedal to the ground,
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies,
Close our eyes, pretend to fly,
It's always Penny and me tonight,

Staring at a million city lights,
But it's still Penny and I all alone beneath the sky,
Feel the wind brushing slowly by,
If I could soar I would try, to take these wings and fly,
Away to where the leaves turn red,
But no matter where I am instead,
Singin' along to feelin' alright,
We're makin' it by in the pink moonlight,
It's always Penny and me tonight,

Penny likes to get away,
And drown her pain, in lemonade,
And Penny Dreams Of Rainy Days,
And Nights Up Late By The Fireplace
An aimless conversations bout' the better days


reminds me of tings, (remember this?)
makes me (:

p.s i really need your address!

love, actually, is all around

hee. as you can tell, just finished watching Love Actually again,
cant wipe off that cheesy smile off my face
this one's 5 popcorns!
:)
how pretty the rows of English houses are..
very very lovely.
hrmpf. i wanna live in England too!


anyway ystd ws quite :)
a sleepy candy empire trip secretly turned into a shopping affair..got high in ArtFriend by colour pencils (a box of markers can cost 931 bucks?!?! not $9.31, nine hundred and thirty one bucks!!) and intricate lil ornament stuff..and then ltr at HMV (dyknw tht SOUNDTRACKS can cost 50 bucks for one album..seriously doubt the overpriced cds are any good to 'stealing' music online..are are they mad?!?!?) and heated discussion at yoshinoya haha
and i bumped into dadeedoo and mina (who squealed in excitement in the middle of dhoby ghaut mrt station..haha) ! haha dinah whr were you..
haha nvm, shall be seeing these 3 ltr on, (secretly hoping all will be in favour of watching Goal or Corpse Bride)
chanmalis without tings..
ohwell.
reunion in dec though! :D


and btw, TINGS, i need your add ASAP!!
hurry email me your address ! and have you found out abt the code area nonsense thing? cant figure it out yet, cant call you!
p.s miss you!


anywayy results were ohkay,
Math was just really terrible though
but Econs was a pleasant surprise haha, just really lucky
hrm, hope no one has to retain in our class.. :

Steph, Ree, Nana,
PHEW.
told you you guys would promote..!


oh, had Friends marathon earlier with Yue Wen and Lay Zheng (HAHAH pls dnt kill me)
sweeeeetness :)
errr but Ree, i really dont think Chandler is "SO CHARMING!"
maybe a little feifei thats all..hahah.


and met Don, another day too, for dinner..
disgusting encounter before he came, but nevermind..
we walked round and round and caught up a lil..
furiously moving our legs and our mouths haha
so much has been going on in cj..tskkkkkk.
cant wait to see Hwing! :)


alrightyy
am off..


//EDIT
rightt.
yea so why dont you call me or even, reply my mail when you feel like it.
welllll.
i guess 5 years will never beat 10.
this seriously sucks.
i hate wrong timings.
and myself, for letting it happen.
but i cant help it!
and maybe you just stopped bothering.
maybe i dont seem it,
but i do think about you hell a lot
and i miss you like, a lot
and i tell everyone about you
and well, im sorry im not that chatty,
or funny, for that matter.
but everything has changed.
dont you care too?

what a beautiful smile
can i stay for a while


on a scale of 5,

elephant ; 2.5 popcorns
sisterhood of the travelling pants ; 4 popcorns
matchstick men ; 3.5 popcorns
laguna beach ; 3 popcorns
thirteen ; 3 popcorns
uncut oc ; 4.5 popcorns :D
hours catching up with sabrina wheeee + choc and banana walnuts ; 101 popcorns


things to do,

clean up my bedside table reallyyyy soon..huge mess.
delete friendster account..feeling lame now holding its membership..
get ready to tannnn with phi :D ..-looks at grey sky.. :prepare myself for reviewing of all the papers tmrw..HORRORS.
tinkerbell's 17th pres :)

-


some changes are good :)
others not..

discovery of wayyyy too drastic changes, -101 popcorns.


// EDIT
so not thinking about loss of my Ms. Rock..
or at least, i know
we're on our way there..
tell me i can lean on you again.

finch ;
Can't you see that I wanna be
there with open arms
It's empty tonight and I'm all alone
Get me through this one


got a whole list of new songs
but where is the poddie?!??!?
grr.
>:c

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

i wanna watch corpse's bride.!

Looking back
How did I get here?
Chasing circles
Never thought so near
I'm shaded by the red

so tonight
i realise
maybe what's right has always been wrong.
maybe it will never be right.


// tings; i miss i miss i miss you. :c

maybe thats what it takes ; alex parks

yayness,
the dreaded promos finally over!
will definitely not do well
but hoping to do ohkay..


ystd caught Into the Blue (reallyreally good ++ hot Jessica Alba constantly swimming around like a mermaid pls) with the Sporty minus busy nette..were totally drained and zombie-ish..though ice cream was yummy and random chitchatness suddenly dawned upon us..only to be replaced by sleepyness again..haha. 3hour papers are killers.

and today went shoppingggggg
:D :D
happiness!
phi iloveyou! hee. had a great great time :) (stop being so Maternity like pls! -shoots daggers at you)
LOVE/LIKE!
all the shops had really good stuff..like zara suddenly has this Out Of This World top..okay maybe just Out Of Singapore but its really..! okay but too big for me soooo..
but still, am a happy contented girl !
while everyone else is squashed up at the partyyy..


tutoring tmrw morning..
yikes.
really not looking fwd to it anymore.
despite the kids' cuteness. (only sometimes, when they arent nasty and playing fun play-doh with me haha)


grr awaiting my poddie placement AGAIN
i swear im so annoyed..
within TWO weeks my poddie's down AGAIN
i didnt even exactly drop it or anything..
its practically spanking new!
TSK.
another week and a half of music-less world.



on repeat.
lifehouse ; sick cycle carousel.
hot hot heat ; goodnight goodnight